Five and a Half Years

[TIMELINE: April 2023] Hell Day, a.k.a. April 18, had actually started out so well, at least for me. I had gone to the gym, completed a great workout, and was driving home. Two blocks away from my house, however, staff at my sister’s memory care facility called me, frantic. This was bad. I pulled into … Read more

[TIMELINE: March–April 2023] During the second half of March, shortly after her neurology exam, my sister was evaluated by both a physical therapist and an occupational therapist, whose first appointments with her were within days of each other. I was overjoyed that Kaiser approved multiple sessions with each at the Carlton, so Peggy would not … Read more

[TIMELINE: March 2023] After my call with Peggy’s psychiatrist Dr. Phan, I was contacted by Fern, the registered nurse (RN) from Kaiser who would be working with Peggy throughout March. Fern explained that her first steps would be an overall assessment of Peggy, alongside meetings with the other RNs in memory care. Yet even though … Read more

[TIMELINE: February–March 2023] In my ongoing efforts to provide Peggy with the best possible care, the last few days of February and the start of March were really challenging—logistically, bureaucratically, and emotionally. The logistic and bureaucratic issues popping up around this time were many. The first item on my to-do list was following the recent … Read more

[TIMELINE: February 2023] Despite sharing several nice, upbeat moments with Peggy early in the month, I was still pretty overwhelmed in February due to a number of new and worsening issues, all of which I just knew were harbingers of the challenges to come. I felt overwhelmed all the time. A few incidents were due … Read more

[TIMELINE: January–February 2023] As January went on, my sister continued to have trouble processing our Uncle Nick’s death. It came out in some very weird ways. She started to wonder if her clothes belonged to her or Uncle Nick. What about her shoes? Were they hers or were they his? The first time Peggy asked me … Read more

[TIMELINE: January 2023] The day after New Year’s, my sister seemed to be in a better frame of mind. This eased my worries a bit, since she had been struggling so much recently with her emotions and moods. I talked to her friend Dodie and she was relieved as well. Unfortunately, Peggy spiraled again only … Read more

[TIMELINE: December 2022] After Thanksgiving, we remained watchful to see if Peggy experienced any more flashes of agitation or hallucinations. It was important for us to keep track, to make sure she was not in serious distress. Fortunately, there were no major incidents for a few weeks, which was a relief—although I was still stressed … Read more

[TIMELINE: November–December 2022] By November, Peggy was facing a new set of challenges. One of the memory care staff called to tell me that Peggy had begun seeing people that weren’t there. I was worried but not surprised, since I knew she had reached the stage of her disease where hallucinations were a possibility. Here’s … Read more

[TIMELINE: October 2022] October is usually one of my favorite months, but everything was different in 2022. Normally, I would have been happily anticipating the spooky season, a special time of year for goths and an important anniversary month for my partner Jon and I, since we got married on Halloween. But instead, I was … Read more